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Tis the Season
1st-Jan-2010 01:23 am
My personality type is ISTP. That basically stands for Introverted; Sensing; Thinking; Perceiving. Basically, I am an introverted logician. It's completely true. I have always been this way. This year, I was completely thrown off. See, my way of dealing with the world is comprised of rationalizing my way out of things. I live in the moment and am highly individualistic. These parts of me didn't change. I deplore unreasonable things and I live practically. On the other hand, I found myself undermining myself because I started paying attention to what people thought of me and started branching out to people. Bad idea. It's not so much that I don't like people. In fact, it's the complete opposite. As long as you give me my space and we have something in common, we have the potential to be really good friends. I guess what I need to put in perspective is that I don't have to be everybody's friend. I like the friends I have. Heck, I adore them. My resolutions are to hold true to myself and to recognize the difference between those who are my friends and those who are not. At the end of the day, I need to be happy with myself and with my life. That may not always happen. I might be particularly stressed or might not do so well at something. In that, I have people who love me who are willing to stand by me through it all. It is those kinds of people I need to surround myself with. This year is going to be crazy but I feel it is also going to be quite fun. I just have to go at it with my perspective properly adjusted, my friends and family at my side and my self to be clear. Yes, that makes little sense but it was the best I could do. All in all, I need to have people in my life but I also need to stop being afraid of alone. I need to honor the person I am. I mean, why would I change an already wonderful person? It is in that that I let myself down the most this year. I let the person who I was down by trying to make myself something I'm not and I owe myself  a lot more than that. I have never been the type to lie to myself or to undermine myself. I am comfortable enough in myself. That's all that matters. Screw everybody else. After all, I might be lonely at times but I'm never alone.
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