You know, it was just a bad idea to make people who are horrible procrastinators stay in school the last semester of their high school years. God, I'm drowning out here. It's great. After years of trying, I've finally learned to take things one thing at a time. No more punishing myself for not doing things. I have spring break next week, thank you God. I still have university classes though. It kind of sucks that I have to get up early but it's not that bad. I adore my philosophy class. Other than the 8:00 o'clock discussions, it's actually one of my favorite classes right now. It and French anyways. I will forever love French. We're doing free will and moral responsibility in Philo now, and it is really interesting. I'm finding out so many things that just blow your mind in this class.
It's finally spring! I am going to enjoy the next couple of weeks before I get allergies. Then I'm just high on Zyrtec. I've been doing some course shopping and I think I've finally panned out what to take. I'm going to take both Espagnol and Francais during college I've decided. I love both of them and they're going to be super helpful skills. Now, Argentina or Paris?
The other day, Madame gave us an assignment that ended up with me falling in love with Nice. I love that city. It is so breathtakingly beautiful. It's an old Roman city and it's just magnificent. If I don't live there my entire life, I'm retiring there. Now if only I could find a solid career. That PhD is going to be a bitch to get. All in all, happiness and contention all around. Even my reader's block is gone. And my horrific dentist appointments are almost done. Three so far this month. By the end, I will have had seven appointments in two months. Ha!
Classes I plan to take:
Modern Russia to the Revolution - 15483 - HIST 1410 - S01: 10:00 to 10:50 AM MWF
ECON 0110 - Principles of Economics: 9:00 AM to 9:50 AM MWF
Conference/Discussion: 12:00 PM to 12:50 PM T
Intermediate French II - 10658 - FREN 0400 - S02 1:00 PM to 1:50 PM MWF
Discovering the Past: Introduction to Archaeology and Prehistory - 15737 - ANTH 0500 - S01: 11:00 PM to 11:50 PM MWF
GEOL 0160C - Global Environmental Change
Theory of International Relations - 14306 - POLS 1480 - S01: 1:00 PM to 2:20 PM TR
Introduction to International Politics - 15447 - POLS 0400 - S01: 11:00 AM to 11:50 AM MWF
The Brain: An Introduction to Neuroscience - 12038 - NEUR 0010 - S01 1:00 PM to 2:20 PM TR
My personality type is ISTP. That basically stands for Introverted; Sensing; Thinking; Perceiving. Basically, I am an introverted logician. It's completely true. I have always been this way. This year, I was completely thrown off. See, my way of dealing with the world is comprised of rationalizing my way out of things. I live in the moment and am highly individualistic. These parts of me didn't change. I deplore unreasonable things and I live practically. On the other hand, I found myself undermining myself because I started paying attention to what people thought of me and started branching out to people. Bad idea. It's not so much that I don't like people. In fact, it's the complete opposite. As long as you give me my space and we have something in common, we have the potential to be really good friends. I guess what I need to put in perspective is that I don't have to be everybody's friend. I like the friends I have. Heck, I adore them. My resolutions are to hold true to myself and to recognize the difference between those who are my friends and those who are not. At the end of the day, I need to be happy with myself and with my life. That may not always happen. I might be particularly stressed or might not do so well at something. In that, I have people who love me who are willing to stand by me through it all. It is those kinds of people I need to surround myself with. This year is going to be crazy but I feel it is also going to be quite fun. I just have to go at it with my perspective properly adjusted, my friends and family at my side and my self to be clear. Yes, that makes little sense but it was the best I could do. All in all, I need to have people in my life but I also need to stop being afraid of alone. I need to honor the person I am. I mean, why would I change an already wonderful person? It is in that that I let myself down the most this year. I let the person who I was down by trying to make myself something I'm not and I owe myself a lot more than that. I have never been the type to lie to myself or to undermine myself. I am comfortable enough in myself. That's all that matters. Screw everybody else. After all, I might be lonely at times but I'm never alone.
So, I finally finished the final Confessions of Georgia Nicolson book. It was really good but what absolutely sold me was Dave! I mean, he was funny and gorgeous and fit and everything you wish boys were, especially teenage boys. Look at how cute Tommy Bastow is. Yes, that's him. He was such a right pick to play Dave in the movie. Which I'm watching on New Year's Day. The ending for the book was more than fantastic. After that, I read this awesome fanfiction that was a continuation of the ending. It was damn good and almost felt like Louise Rennison herself, if it wasn't for the bits of american slang that creeped in.
Also read a random spirituality self-help type book. Surprising because I am one of the least spiritual people in the world. It definitely had a lot of good points though, like what goes around comes around, learn to live in the moment. I think when everything sunk in was when it said there has never been nor will there ever be any one like me in history. Meaning that it was alright that I had a million and a half quirks that I should appreciate and that I'm sure other people appreciate too.
Feeling a touch of guilt over not having written my ethnography or gotten Adrienne her christmas present. Yes, I know christmas has already passed. If you don't know yet, Adrienne is my best friend in possibly the entire universe. We are the same person, except I like to think she's the slightly more stable version of me. All in all, she's super awesome.
I'm also trying to get into a healthier pattern, meaning I'm going to eat my meals regularly and get sufficient sleep every day. I've also learned that relaxing and just chilling works really well with me. It's been a pretty good day so far. I've been trying to find this baking book that is the best thing ever but I can't remember the name.
I also got Skype. Which I plan to have a ton of fun with. I got it primarily to talk to my Brown friends so that we can get to know each other before next fall. I can't wait!
Wow. The last time I posted anything on livejournal was the summer after my freshman year. I am now in the middle of my senior year and going to college in a couple of months. God, I feel as though I've changed and not changed at all. I went back and read over what I wrote two years ago and I felt like a completely different person. I could hear myself but at the same time, i realize I haven't talked like that in a really long time. It's really weird and slightly overwhelming. I've never taken change particularly well; I've just managed to survive and move on as best as I can.
I feel as my entire life is slowly spinning out of my control. And no, it is not the pms-ravings of a teenage girl. First and foremost, I got into Brown. With a full scholarship. Yeah, it is quite the achievement. Took a lot of work and I'm surprised I got out of it relatively unscathed. I applied through this really hard and completely disorienting scholarship program. That is where some of my mental anguish originates. You'll be surprised to know that Yale was my first choice. It's been bothering quite a bit that I'm instead going to Brown. Don't take it wrong, I am more than grateful to be going to Brown. Ecscatic, really. I'm worried, though, that I'll go and I'll hate it. Yeah, I know everyone feels that way right before they go to school. I hope that it'll all resolve itself out. Writing more frequently will definitely help a lot.
These days, I feel as though I am really exhausted. Both physically and mentally. Granted, school is lending itself to this more than anything. I take classes at the local university on top of my usual school work. It's absurd. I just finished Biology and bracing myself for philosophy next semester. Most of my stress comes from A.P. Calculus and college in the schools writing. The writing class is exactly the same class as the freshman writing at the university. We have to write an ethnography and it is easily one of the most horrific things I have ever undertaken. I'm writing it on my best friend's judo class. Calculus is like fighting in the trenches during world war I. You take it day by day. There's really not much else you can do.
God, I'm looking forward to college. Immersing myself in a completely different group is going to be so fantastic. I love my friends and the people I know, but I am so over high school. Especially the other gender. Here's to hopefully increased levels of maturity in men once they leave home. And future me, if you do end up reading this, which I'm sure you'll do, hopefully you'll have had better luck with them. I'm growing up at such a rate that confusion is often a companion than anything else. Being a teenager is hard. Sheesh.
There! I got my rant out, less eloquently than I wished, but alas. You'll be getting more of these from me. Ha, I'm just chock full of them.
Oh my god, it's been too long. I've been so busy for the last couple of months. Obsessions with Gossip Girl, reading, life, et cetera and so on.
How awesome is ed Westwick? Oh my my. The boy is like nothing other. Will be fawning over him some more.
Also, ugh, suffering under the remnants of my recurring fever.
Hugs snd kISSES
I am so thirsty. It was so hot this week. That is the sole reason that summer isn't my favorite season. Instead spring is, because it's moderately warm and it rains. I adore rain. It rains in the summer too but its that kind of humid rain. Which is like the rain in a tropical jungle. I remember back when I lived in Kenya, it would be december and it would be pushing ninty. I would have to walk home in the sweltering heat. Sucked. My favorite season was the rainy season. Given the fact the entire year was basically the same, seasons didn't really apply.
I completely love how it's summer and it still hasn't completely sunk in. The thing about summer is that you spend so much time looking forward that unless you have something spectacular to do, it kind of crashes down on you. Doesn't matter. This year has been so stressful that all I'm going to do is just chill and read a ton. No stress. Best damn feeling in the world if you'll excuse my french.
I have nothing to do on the computer anymore. Since I never chat, and I've run out of fanfiction to read, je suis desespere. Ces't vrai. Oh, sacre bleu. Have to find new fandom post haste.
Well, till next time. Can't wait for whatever it is summer has in store for me.
- Music:She will be Loved- Maroon 5
Wow, I am on this sight everyday and yet I haven't posted something in seven weeks. My life has been rather hectic of late. With A.P.tests coming up, and school sucking your soul out, not much for left for anything else.
I have been semi-fine. Other than the relentless attack of allergies, spring fever has hit. All through the simple minded romance and the work, I have been getting along. Well, such is life.
Been jumping into my reading. After finding that I had nothing to read, I turned to classics. Best thing I've ever done.
Been navigating through Anna Karenina. I would love to go to St. Petersburg. The royals before the bolshevik revolution were awesome.